"I need you more than the sun..." - Hawk Nelson

I guess all great things come to an end. Me and my boyfriend are...not together anymore really, guess i shouldn't call him my boyfriend anymore huh? Ugh theres gonna be so many adjustments to make. And it sucks. REally bad. Like, half of the crap of in my room involves him. Most people would so angry they go an trash all reminders, but im not gonna do that. I don't regret anything. In fact, he is still part of me right now, no need to trash what's important to me.
Don't worry bout me guys im holding up fairly well even though this was just dropped on me like a friggin bomb. Somehow, i'll crawl out form the debris, banged up pretty bad, but i will keep going. I will. I can't go back to what i was before. I can't . I don't want this to be over... not at all. It hurts too, but like i said i'm holding up much better than i thought. Either that or i'm just good at blocking things. Which isn't good.
Yeah. And i don't want anyone to go bug him for it, because he was right. He did the right thing. Just wish he would've told me how he felt when he first felt it. At least then maybe i could've done something...and thats the state of mind i'm in. "Maybe i could've done this" but theres nothing i can do now. I guess thats just how things are... I almost feel stupid for thinking we would last forever, stupid for not seeing how he felt... but i really need to think differently or i won't make it. I just really wish this was only temporary, i don't know how to go back to normal without reverting back to what i was. I'm supposed to be more independent and experience things... i guess this would be the first lesson. Heartbreak.
I just hope i don't see him for a while. I still love him, i want to be his friend, but i think we both know it'll be too difficult for me now. If i were to see him now, he wouldn't see the way i am now, he'll only see what i was before. Scared, full of adrenaline, avoiding eye contact. All that good stuff. Bleh.
But im gonna be okay. I just need time i guess. I don't want anyone's sympathy, it just makes me feel worse. I've already let it out for the most part today. I don't need it to start back up again. Don't be surprised if theres no art for a while, or if theres just a bunch of sad art. I mean, thats how i deal with it. Through my art. It's the only thing i know that i can't lose (God willing).
Love ya'll, and really don't worry about me. Im gonna snap outta this sooner or later. :/


A PEICE OF SKATEBOARD
$5.00 for shipping and handling.
A simple design like poka dots, stripes, checkers, etc will be $10.00.
Extra $5.00-$10.00 for extra anything else depending on what it is.
Simple design on grip tape is $5.00. Any thing extra is $2.00.
Extra $5.00 for glitter.
Extra $1.00 to spray it with polycrylic.
I have several in stock. PLease consider this. You could have your character on a peice of skateboard mounted on your wall. Or your favorite band's name. Or your sweet doggie,kitty, or any other pet. I'm willing to work with ya on this, even with the prices. Please consider this. It'd be an awesome addition to your room, or even a cool gift, and you'll be helping me out a lot since im too sorry to get a job hehee.

Prints are $10.00
Commissions are only $15.00-$25.00.
GIVE ME A PROJECT AND ILL DO IT. IM ON A ROLL HERE!!!!